About

My name is Jon. I live in New York. I'm a writer for the UCB house sketch team Beige as well as other things. This is a searing look into my beaten and broken psyche, an examination of my own crippling malaise. It's also got funny YouTube videos!

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People I Follow

  • Hyperbole Is My Middle Name!
  • Vintage Disney Parks
  • Learning Curve
  • Me In My Place ® - beautiful women at home
  • Uptight Citizen
  • Hey it's Lou!
  • The Picture of a Sunny Day
  • Brentt Harshman
  • Things I Find
  • Alice Teeple Is This Tumblrer
  • Patrick Cotnoir
  • Macarony Productions
  • Hank's Tumblr
  • Uncanny Brett White
  • Mi Vida
  • The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon
  • Figure it out.
  • Everything Perfect for Everyone Forever
  • #FUTURESH*T
  • Meghan O'Keefe
  • The New Yorker
  • Humans of New York
  • There's a Bobby Pin In My Apple Juice
  • Claire Ayoub Laughing at Things
  • That Dog's Blog
  • The Mary Sue
  • UCB Comedy
  • Poupak's Parisian Life in New York
  • [the urban fervor]
  • kale + kittens
  • Chris Griswold
  • Hioo Journal
  • Little Hands, Big Heart
  • You Rach You Lose
  • Whistling in the Dark
  • I Hahaha Hate Myself
  • Mark Joyella | @standupkid
  • Eye contact: Look at the camera.
  • Pod Awful
  • shotgunsnack
  • 45andsingle
  • so, alex goes...
  • Long Naps, Strudel, and Improvisation
  • (write it) like disaster
  • Above Average
  • IFC
  • kerry obrien
  • Hal Phillips
  • Moujan has a Tumblr
  • Kelly Hudson: Citizen Hudson
  • SHOW NUFF
  • An Outfit For Every Season
  • stephen falk dot com
  • And Now for Something Completely Different
  • Give 'em Enough Rope
  • I AM SPO
  • REGULAR SAM.
  • Comedy Nerds United!
  • UCB CageMatch Statshound
  • Doug Moe
  • Tumblr Staff
  • I Hate Being Single
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  • A New Mania
  • Kindle the fire in your chest.
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  • Rich Kids Of Instagram
  • Alexis Pereira
  • Madalyn Baldanzi?
  • "More Than You Need to Know" by Geezus H.
  • HMS Got 'Em
  • Beige
  • That's So Jackson
  • Kirk Damato
  • Rob Michael Hugel Is Here
  • hey i'm brady and:
  • Quoz
  • nikki!
  • BEN POPKEN IS JUST KIDDING
  • thedorseyshawexperience
  • #hotmessmoves
  • Sesame Street
  • The Young Turks
  • I Genuinely Enjoy Science
  • Chris Reblogs
  • Brutality and Chuckles
  • The Daily Oliver
  • PREMIUM FISHER
  • Chris Kelly
  • Nate Cartoons
  • Iliana Inocencio
  • Winston Noel and the Blog of the Same Name
  • Splitsider
  • The Comic's Comic
  • Sttaggart
  • Bye, Raleigh
  • ... and then I tripped.
  • Abbi Crutchfield
  • Halle Kiefer
  • Indie Cage Match NYC
  • GUTES BEISPIEL
  • Lovelauren
  • Jesse Acini's Online Presence
  • stop hitting yourself why are you hitting yourself
  • Sean P. O'Reilly
  • ==ioi==
  • The Chris Gethard Show
  • Taxidermy Church
  • the Anthony King
  • Emma Jean Noble
  • RITA CHIN - COMEDIAN
  • Travis Helwig
  • The Rolling Doughnut
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  • Morgan Evans on Tumblr
  • Peanuts Studio Blog
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  • stuff
  • Connor Ratliff
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  • Wrestling Team
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  • a world of pure imagination
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  • Thank You, Robot
  • COCOON CENTRAL DANCE TEAM
  • Digsy Is Comics
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  • RATLIFF 35/2012
  • Patrick Noth
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  • Shut UP! Storytelling Show
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  • michelle.in.space.
  • Soup
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  • Is the baby smiling, or is it just gas?
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  • This Inevitable Life
  • Brown's Mumbler
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  • Amey's makeumup stuff & real stuff
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  • The Uncanny Valley
  • syllogisms and metaphors.
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  • also ellena.
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  • This Awkward Pause
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  • Matthew S. Starr
  • Evan Kaufman.com
  • Dawn Luebbe
  • UCB Conspiracy
  • Fake Criterions
  • Pat Landers
  • BRYAN RUCKER
3 hours ago | 1 note
This text from my old roommate is dedicated to @bennettleigh.

This text from my old roommate is dedicated to @bennettleigh.

4 hours ago
I get your point, bathroom graffiti artist. After all, I did take this picture with a phone. Still, I feel like most actual slaves would have a problem with this comparison.

I get your point, bathroom graffiti artist. After all, I did take this picture with a phone. Still, I feel like most actual slaves would have a problem with this comparison.

14 hours ago | 4 notes
Dear humanity,
Try harder.

Dear humanity,
Try harder.

1 day ago | 2 notes

beigeucb:

At the end of the 9/15 Beige show at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre, a crime was committed. Police are asking citizens to please watch the following videotape of the incident and contact them with any information you may have. Thank you.

#WhoShotJM

The police have released footage of my friend Jonathan Marballi’s death during the recent Beige show. Please watch this and look for anything that might help us solve this heinous crime.

WARNING: THIS VIDEO IS GRAPHIC

Via Beige
1 day ago | 11 notes

9/19 Updated Playoff Picture

cagematchstatshound:

Another win for The Enemy! The Enemy now has 4 wins, and the Season only has 6 matches left! While the Enemy actually did not change positions in the rankings with this win, a few other teams were affected. Here’s how!

Fuck That Shit (13-1) Unaffected, obviously. These guys are just waiting for…

I’ve found your new favorite blog, improv nerds.

Via UCB CageMatch Statshound
2 days ago | 1 note
Last Late Night Layover before Marballi heads to LA! Monje surprised us all with Jonoscene shirts!

Last Late Night Layover before Marballi heads to LA! Monje surprised us all with Jonoscene shirts!

2 days ago | 3 notes
Being real careful while working on next month’s Beige scripts… Don’t want any spoilers getting out. #WhoShotJM

Being real careful while working on next month’s Beige scripts… Don’t want any spoilers getting out. #WhoShotJM

3 days ago | 324,964 notes

thebacksideofthewall:

I swear the fuckin producers of the simpsons knew shit was an issue before anyone opened their eyes.

Totally. It’s such a bummer that not a single person on earth had ever thought about the social issues that lead to crime or about prison overcrowding until Lisa Simpson mentioned it in a 1995 animated Fox sitcom. Thank god our eyes were opened.

More importantly though, this episode ignited the furious debate over whether or not a garage is actually called a “car hole.” My fuckin eyes are still open on that one.

(Source: monodoh)

Via Figure it out.
3 days ago | 3 notes

13 Ghosts Wiki

Hey, world. Just so you know, there’s a 13 Ghosts wiki online. It’s a wiki that is entirely devoted to information on the characters, plots, locations, and actors related to the 1960 horror film and its 2001 remake starring Tony Shalhoub and Matthew Lillard. It has 74 articles on it. There’s a poll on the homepage and 132 people have voted since 2012.

Just so you know.

3 days ago | 2 notes

If you thought that network TV crime procedurals were completely stale and old fashioned, The Blacklist is here to prove you wrong by parodying a bunch of magazine covers! Nothing says “hip” in 2014 like the print media!!

(By the way, they thought this was such a great idea that they sent out press releases about it.)