About

My name is Jon. I live in New York. I'm a writer for the UCB house sketch team Beige as well as other things. This is a searing look into my beaten and broken psyche, an examination of my own crippling malaise. It's also got funny YouTube videos!

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8 months ago | 2 notes

As anyone who’s read my abstinence column here at Fox News Opinion could guess, my wedding is something that I’ve looked forward to for quite some time. After having tied the knot at the end of August, I can now say beyond all shadow of a doubt, that it was everything I’d hoped and prayed that it would be since childhood. (I’d also prayed to be bitten by a radioactive spider and develop sticky hands, but… I was an idiot.)

Let me preface this column by saying this: my wife (I have to get used to saying that) and I not only waited sexually in every way (no, we didn’t pull the Bill Clinton and technically avoid “sex” sex,) but we didn’t shack up as live-ins and most importantly, we courted each other in a way that was consistent with our publicly professed values.

We did it right.

Feeling judged? I couldn’t care less. You know why? Because my wife and I were judged all throughout our relationship. People laughed, scoffed and poked fun at the young, celibate, naive Christian couple.

-

Steven Crowder (“comedian” and Fox News contributor), “Waiting till the wedding night – getting married the right way”

A couple days ago, I was having a conversation with my mom about the YouTube video that inspired all the riots in the Middle East and how it was a perfect test for how much one truly believes in freedom of speech. It’s all well and good to want to defend, say, the brilliant satire of South Park from terror-inspired censorship, but it’s much more difficult to defend a fundamentalist con-man who wanted nothing other than to incite violence.

This Fox News editorial on abstinence before marriage is kind of like that.

Previously, I’ve always thought of myself as a good man who wouldn’t wish for complete strangers to have to go through a horrible divorce purely because they share different opinions than myself. This editorial is really, really, really testing that.

Guys, he uses the fucking word “harlot.” In 2012, he uses the word “harlot.”

Also…just watch this video of him.

  1. megsokay said: I AM A HARLOT. I’ve never been more pleased with myself.
  2. jonbershad posted this