Jon's Ego (in print form!)

Tonight, three different people asked me if I’ve lost weight. Since I know that that…couldn’t be further from the truth (*sigh*), the only possible explanation is that my beard made my face fat. Or something.

I don’t know. Maybe I magically changed into a suit covered in vertical stripes and forgot about it.

Anyway, gonna go with no beard for a while. Personally, I think that, without a beard, I look like some kind of shaved vermin but I am easily swayed by peer pressure (I’d never have smoken a cigarette in my life if Mikey Stewart hadn’t called me a “chicken brain” in fourth grade) so I guess it’s clean cheek time.

If you severely disagree with this choice, let me know. Admittedly, the opinions of women will count for way more than the opinions of men.

Because men are ugly and gross and stupid and don’t know what shirts match. Of course, that’s just in my experience.