About

My name is Jon. I live in New York. I'm a writer for the UCB house sketch team Beige as well as other things. This is a searing look into my beaten and broken psyche, an examination of my own crippling malaise. It's also got funny YouTube videos!

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Chat
6 months ago | 8 notes

How Cool People Talk at a Halloween Party

  • Random Girl: Who are you?
  • Jon: I'm Tom Cruise in the movie Magnolia.
  • Random Guy: And you?
  • Veronica: Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction.
  • Random Girl: And you're...?
  • Hal: Just a Roman Centurion.
  • Random Guy: You're not like the dude from Gladiator?
  • Hal: No.
  • Random Girl: Come on, you're like a Roman god, right?
  • Hal: Nope, just a Centurion.
  • Jon: Hal, when someone asks if you're a god, you say 'yes.'
  • ...
  • Jon: Holy shit, I can't believe I just got to say that.
  1. ashleyalexiss said: YES!!
  2. jonbershad posted this
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